Not Coming Back
by Caia
Summary: When she's gone...


NOT COMING BACK  
  
A/N: I wrote this on the first day of the year, but I was away and I couldn't pass it into my PC, so here it is. It is set in the future, no specifics. I really hope you like it, and please review!!!!!  
  
Danny walked in still with hope to see her sitting at her desk, or by the white board looking at the missing person's picture, or even with that black cup of coffee standing by the conference table. She wasn't there, but Danny could imagine her doing what she always did, and sighed. He passed by Martin and Vivian's empty desks and then by his own. He stopped in front of her desk and stared at the plate with her name for a couple of minutes, then his look shifted to her pen, and then to her chair. Danny walked slowly around the desk and placed his hand sadly on the back of the chair, just where her hair would normally lay. There was no-one there, at least not to him. The truth was that Martin, Vivian and Paula Van Doren where gathered around the conference table, talking, and thinking that that was the best they could do...that was what she would have liked them to do, as painful as it was. Even if the three of them had noticed Danny go in, they hadn't said a word, nothing seemed right. He thought it was only him but everyone could hear her voice 'I could really use a drink' 'You don't think I'm ready, do you?' Why was Danny at the office? Well, he was not in shape to work, at all. He was there because he had nowhere else to go, he wanted to be near her, to feel her presence. Where else than there could he go?  
  
Time flew, and the sun went down, the moon showed and the stars glowed like they had never before. There was a mild breeze, but the night was not cold. This time Danny was indeed alone. Martin had probably gone to some bar and Vivian and Paula to their respective families. Danny didn't feel like going home. And that night suddenly reminded him of that afternoon in which Samantha had some incredibly beautiful flowers on her desk. Those flowers, that afternoon, Jack. He remembered. Not knowing exactly what he was doing he took the phone and dialled. Maria answered on the other end.  
  
"Hello," she said, sounding a little bit, just a little bit worried.  
  
"It's Danny Taylor, is Jack home?" the young man said slowly.  
  
"No, Jack's not home. I don't know where he is, I haven't spoken with him for two days now and he's not answering his cell phone." Now she sounded really worried. "What's going on?"  
  
Confused, not too much actually, Danny cleared his throat and answered "It's fine, than you." Then he hung up.  
  
He took his coat and got a cab un no time.  
  
* * *  
  
The door was opened, the room was dark and through the opened curtain of the living room window the same moon Danny had seen before, shone now. With nostalgia Danny walked through and got to her bedroom. From a different window, for the third time, the same moon. Jack sitting on the floor, his back against the bed. Danny saw him there and couldn't go pass the arch. He wanted to, but he couldn't. Jack was into deep thinking, hurting himself with every memory he had of her, of them. Danny couldn't move, but he managed to talk.  
  
"I thought I'd find you here."  
  
Jack didn't move, not a millimetre.  
  
After a while he said "She loves nights like this," noticeable tears rolling down his cheeks.  
  
Then Danny stepped forward and sat on the edge of the bed. 'loves, loves.' Danny did not intend to upset or bother the other man, but he didn't think he could remain like that for a much longer time either.  
  
"Jack, I talked to Maria. She told me you haven't spoken with her in days. She's worried, she doesn't know what's going on."  
  
"I can't go home," Jack whispered.  
  
"Have you eaten anything?"  
  
"Danny."  
  
That 'Danny' had been a loud and clear NO.  
  
"You know, her birthday is in three days," Jack said showing all his pain and suffering.  
  
Danny still found no words to express his misery.  
  
He moved to the floor, beside Jack, and both men stared into the vast universe. Danny would not look at him, and Jack would talk endlessly.  
  
"She loved nights like this, she loved dawn. She loved the beach, the sand, the sun. She loved 'Igore' and she loved the number three. She loved light- blue and pitches, exotic flowers."  
  
They could only hear, at passed midnight, the sound of silence in the dark.  
  
"She loved children."  
  
Another tear.  
  
"She would never admit it but I know, she would have liked to have a kid, a husband, a family...God."  
  
Danny still found no way.  
  
"God Danny, she's not coming back. She's not. And I may have shown her in a million different ways, but I never told her I loved her. I never told her and now she's not here anymore. And I can't tell her."  
  
More tears rolling down Jack's cheeks, tears rolling down Danny's cheeks too.  
  
"While we where in trial for Spaulding she asked me if it was really over and...and I said 'yes'. It was never over." A pause. "Danny I was scared of losing my family, my job, and I never told her I loved her. She trusted me everything, she gave me her soul and I lost her. I lost her and she's not coming back."  
  
"Jack. She worked every day knowing the dangers. She worked and she died knowing how much you loved her," Danny finally said giving him a folded paper. "I found thins in her drawer at the office...Jack she knew."  
  
Jack read out loud "Dear Jack, If you got this it's probably because I'm not coming back, and you found it, or Danny did. He does that all the time: looking around my desk. :) I told you at least once what I liked and I hope you remember because I'm not going to repeat it. I just wanted you to know that I LOVE YOU, and I always will no matter what. I need you to know that you saved me, and I'm not talking about the bookstore, I'm talking about something different. You saved my soul because I gave it to you. I'm glad I did. You saved my heart from braking into countless pieces. And you kept me going, you kept me thinking straight (Almost always). Even now I have some things to ask you: LOVE, TALK, MOVE ON, LIVE, DREAM, WATCH your girls grow up and enjoy that, GIVE and SHOW your family haw much you love them because I know you do. You showed me a thousand times in thousands of ways :P that you loved me, and I never expected you to tell me, I never needed it. Please, just know all of these, and have it in mind. Faithfully yours, Sam. PS: Remember you can't save everyone and remember I know. I know."  
  
Jack folded back the paper and for the first time moved his head to look at Danny, who was looking at him sadly. Jack smiled.  
  
"The night's amazing."  
  
"It is," Danny agreed.  
  
"Let's go, I'll give you a ride," Jack offered.  
  
"Don't bother. It feels good here."  
  
"Yeah. Come on, we'll go to my place then. She doesn't want this, there's no point in staying here," he said standing up. "Come on. I did the talking but you need to talk too."  
  
Danny took Jack's hand to help himself stand up. They locked the door and Jack put the key inside of his pocked, like he always did. They got into the car and they arrived at Jack's in no more than twenty minutes. Jack opened the door and showed Danny the guest room, where he would be staying. He offered the younger agent something to drink and after having some water both went to their respective rooms.  
  
* * *  
  
Hannah and Kate still sleeping. The bed in the guest room undone. Jack gone. Maria made breakfast knowing Jack had been there, she made breakfast having lost all concern. Looking for some glasses she found a folded paper and a key on the counter. Jack had left it there, not on purpose she figured. Even after reading 'Dear Jack' she continued, even knowing it was private she read it all. Then she knew what had happened, why her husband hadn't gone home, and where he had been: Samantha was gone and she was not coming back. And when her husband went home that night all she could say was 'I love you.'  
  
- THE END -  
  
Please REVIEW... :) 


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